Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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