So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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