hotel room ftw
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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