So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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