I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
