Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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