How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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