Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
