What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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