So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
