I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
