thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
