the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
