I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
