I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
