cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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