ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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