hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We're too hungover to prance.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
