i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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