So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
