are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
