google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
