you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize