we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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