You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
