Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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