I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize