I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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