i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
