I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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