I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I didn't notice because vodka
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
