3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
