Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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(757): View more from Virginia

if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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(519): View more from Ontario

wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant

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(870): View more from Arkansas

What's the big deal? you guys fuck

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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(713): View more from Texas

he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"

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(773): View more from Illinois

Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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(813): View more from Florida

Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.

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