I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
