she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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