i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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