Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
