i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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