we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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