So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
