I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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