So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
