"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize