walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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