Midget sex pt 2 tonight
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
