I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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