I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
