Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
