She is in my trunk
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
