She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
