fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
