Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
