Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize