Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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