Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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