Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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