Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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