i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
