he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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