can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
