Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
