sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize