omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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